Wednesday, March 16, 2011
New Kid in Town
The first time I moved I was six months old. The most recent time I moved was six months ago. I don't even want to count the number of moves between those two bookends. I will say I have learned a few things along the way. I have learned that there are good people everywhere. I have also learned there are jerks everywhere. So you cling to the good folks as long as you can and avoid the jerks whenever possible. There are a few things predictable about moving. Relationships, meaningful relationships, take time. There are no shortcuts. There may be people that you seem to click with immediately, but it still takes time to build a significant relationship. It takes trust and personal investment and it takes time. You need to share some history and walk together for a while. It takes time. These days, a lot of people don't want to take that time. Life is busy. People have priorities and sometimes the new kid in town isn't one of them. When you move, your life is basically turned upside down; not so much for the people in your new place. Their life continues relatively unchanged by your arrival in their AO (area of operations - Army speak). You are still painfully close to the last place you lived. Most likely, it is some place you were known - your character, your strengths (weaknesses too) and your unique gifts, which were celebrated and appreciated (hopefully). Now you are an unknown, at least for the time being. You are not trusted, not yet anyway. It isn't that you are mistrusted, just unknown. There is a difference. You left a network of friends (that by the way took time to build) and though you knew ahead of time, starting again would be hard, you maybe forgot how hard it is at the beginning. You remember the end - after the investment in others, the shared history and yes, time. The great thing is that old place was once the new place. It was hard in the beginning, but it became the place that meant home, the place you didn't want to leave and the place that held a special place in your heart. So it will be with this new place. It will become the place you know as home, the people you don't want to leave and the place where you are known. No one will likely remember when you were the new kid in town. It just takes time.